Thursday, November 6, 2008


It is really a wonderful thing. It lets us know everything is going to be alright. We do not need to worry about anything. One area that I need security is relationships. I once knew a woman in college who wrote me letters over the summer. I thought we were getting to know each other and then she called me one day. She started to talk about how she met a guy from Scotland and they were dating and she was sorry. I had no clue how to react. I had no intentions toward her and an apology sounds like she thought there were intentions. I saw that our relationship was being misinterpreted and I did not know why. I saw that I could not trust her.

I could not trust her in the sense that I could not anticipate what she was going to do or think. I need to be able to understand how someone is going to react to be friends with them. I do not need to know every aspect of their life, but I need to know generally how they are going to respond to a situation. Since she fell outside of this realm I was scared off. I have had enough relationships that were crappy because I did not have a sense of the person. I am not closed from meeting someone new but I want to know what a person is like before I let them in close. I am incredible throw off by being around someone and not knowing where I stand. It lets my imagination take over and start to come up with fantastic ideas. These ideas have no basis in reality but then again I am not sure what to expect.

So without expectations I have no security. Any crazy idea could be possible good or bad. Sometimes it is easier to believe crappy possibilities because they seem more real. I am not sure what to do without security but in the end we have ultimate security with God. We will never know God well enough to anticipate Him. We will have security in knowing He loves us and He will never abandon us. So if you want real security then trust in God. Anything else will probably fail you pretty big.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"We will never know God well enough to anticipate Him."
This is easily one of the greatest lines that I have heard in a really long time. Thank you for your transparency in this blog, I really enjoyed it.