star gazing is dangerous

I have come to realize a couple of things. I expect Christians to live up to the Bible. Now I understand that people read and interpret the Bible in different ways. I have no problem with this. I expect then that people live what they interpret the Bible to mean. The goal is still to live out what they think the Bible is saying. For me I read love out of the Bible. I read Grace out of the Bible. I expect that Love is to be central to a Christian. Paul writes in Corinthians that he could speak in the tongues of men and angels but without love it is meaningless. So love is incredibly important. Jesus threw love at people before condemnation.

Now I was star gazing over the weekend. I was going from Orion’s belt to Sirius. Then up to Procyon. I could more or less see the major constellations but not much else. It got me thinking. I started to realize that there is too much beauty in the universe not to live without following my ideology. I needed to take risks and do things that could end up hurting me because of love. If God can create some kickass stars and let me enjoy them, then I can seek reconciliation.

the Thursday before this a I was talking to a friend about how I could not understand why I was rejected so easily and with such finality. I had given lip service to considering the other side but really I feel onto my side because that was the side I saw most clearly. Now my friend said something I had thought before but I decide to pay more attention to it because obviously my position was going nowhere. He advised me to ask if I had hurt someone. And I figured heck I cannot be ignored any more then I already am so I may as well ask them if I hurt them.

I want to hear if I hurt someone. I want them to tell me to my face that I hurt them. My honor demands nothing less than addressing when I hurt someone. It too this experience and being in California for me to realize what my honor is. My honor is the good I like about me. that I do not oppress people knowingly. That I do not manipulate people for enjoyment. Certain situations demand certain actions and I have no other option. But a lot of people think Americans have no concept of honor. I read in a book about how other cultures have a monopoly have on honor but not the West. But I see now coming from a fairly blue-collar background that honor is so ingrained in me I would have to throw a lot away to abandon it. My honor leads me to live for God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

The point is that I took a risk. I am trying to ask if I hurt someone and I want to hear them tell me how if I did. I trust God to empower me to deal with it as a Christian, with love and grace and seeking forgiveness. I want to live like I read the Bible and follow it. I want to live with Christians who do the same. It will be interesting to see how it works out.
End communication.